Work

I work

I have a job outside of the home that buys groceries for my family and helps pay a bill or two.

I like working.....no, that's not quite right, I love working.

I like being a part of a team, I enjoy feeling useful

What I like most about my job is that it's important

Yeah there are a lot of people who hate the very sight of me

What I do forces them to remember a tragic, horrible, day in our nations history. I make them nervous, hell, I make 'em take off their shoes in public, that's uncomfortable and gross.

Many people are polite, some are nice and appreciative and thank me for what I do.

Others hate me, I have been called names (thief, liar, pervert, asshole, even pedophile)

I don't care about the hate, or the names, I interact with those people for maybe 3minutes out of my day. It doesn't hurt my feelings, it doesn't make me rethink my priorities, or my job, or even my politics.

What hurts me is the way I am treated by those that I work with.

I can't say those that I work for, because those that are above me in the hierarchy aren't my actual employers, its this nation that employs me.

I'm treated as less than the next person.

See, I only work part time and in the last six months or so I have been told, repeatedly (and in a much more tactful way than what I am writing) that I am just there as a filler.

I am only there to fill in the spaces between the more important, that is full time, employees.

Really?

I got the same training.

I do the same job.

(in many cases I do the job better, yeah tootin' my own horn, you sayin' you wouldn't?)

I have the same responsibilities, and I can suffer the same consequences as the full time employees if I don't meet those responsibilities.

I have been recognized for high performance, yet I am still just a filler.

I have had people above me in the "chain" ask me questions about equipment we use because I have taken my own time to research it, to make myself more knowledgeable. But I am just a filler.

It saddens me to sit here at home and be disheartened at the very thought of having to go to work.

I used to love going to work.

I get to work and I don't want to go out and do the job, and it's not the job itself, its those I work with.

So now I am left to either just deal with it, accept that I am just half of what the guy next to me is, or look for something else.

I'm looking

my husband is awesome

because he scooped ABC news.

today ABC news posted this: Exclusive Terror Attacks Against the US at an All-Time High they are saying that a report from the Department of Homeland Security, dated May 21, says that there have been more attempted attacks in the last 9 months than in any past one year period.

My question is...what DHS report? It's not classified but its also not available, only ABCs reporting of it.

So...if this report does indeed exist than my hubby scooped DHS as well.

On May 12 my husband wrote on the In Homeland Security Blog that the Tempo of attempted terrorist attacks keeps rising. He cites specific attempts, and arrests and even has a list of names.

To make it even better he cites in that post his old blog, The World of Terrorism, a post that he wrote September 24, 2009. In that post, written 8 months ago, he warns of an increase in attempted attacks that could be leading to a larger attack on the horizon.

So my husband was writing about this 8 months ago.

Today ABC news posted it as an exclusive with a report from the DHS that is dated May 21.

Yeah, my husband rocks, he is damn good at his job and neither DHS nor ABC news can keep up.

been a while

so yeah its been a while, I know
not that it matters I don't have any readers.... :)
my big brother and his wife had a baby and for him I made this:

its called the Heirloom Christening Blanket.

My younger brother and his wife are also expecting. It will be their third, but right now I am having a hard time giving a damn.

My flutist

The young lady in the following video is my Abby practicing for her concert.



Though she looks much older she is only 13, and this is her first year playing the flute.
She had a small solo in Beethoven's Ninth, and she was very very nervous.
She did great though.

ouch

The stairs of death, or at least humiliation.

Last Monday I fell down the stairs.

To be more specific, I slid down the stairs, with my big fat butt using my left leg as a sled.
I was walking down the stairs and I stopped and leaned to the left to pick up a towel that had been thrown down the stairs.
My right leg was leading and was one stair lower than my left. When I straightened back up my right foot slipped down the rest of the stairs. My left leg twisted, and I fell onto it and slid the last four steps.
I could barely walk, and I cried like a baby.
I did go to the doctor and get it checked out, x-rays and all.
I'm fine, bruised like crazy, but alright.



On a better note, I was finally able to walk Will to school this morning, and we even took the long way home.

WWJD?

When we came here to Utah we knew that we were moving to an area that was very conservative.
No problem for us there.
We knew that there is a dominant religion here.
No problem there.
We knew that the churches on every block were not ones that we would attend.
No problem there.
We knew that we would be the odd ones out because we don't believe the same way as our neighbors.
Again, no problem there.

What I wasn't expecting was what would happen to my children.
My oldest son to be exact.
He has lost 2 friends now.
Both of those kids were told by their parents that they can no longer play with my son because they are prominent members in their church and he, my son, goes to a different church.
How stupid is that?
Me personally, I think that would piss Jesus off.

Been A while

So its been a while since I have posted anything at all.
Oops.
What can I say, I am a busy woman.
I'm working now, part time.
20 hours a week at a nifty federal job. Somedays its worth it, other days I would like to hit random people with a red hot poker.
Still crocheting, I gotta update all sorts of things.

In an earlier post I made mention of my craftiness.
I now have a shop on a web site to sell my creations.
(most of the stuff I do is designed by others and I always make a point of giving full credit to the individual who is so much more talented than me)
My stuff can be found (and purchased, hint .. hint ..) at www.amarietucker.etsy.com
My shop name is Tying Knots in String With Sticks.

I was absolutely thrilled last week to find that I had sold my very first item.
Here are a few pictures of what ya'll missed out on...



Its called Flowers for Eryn Wrap designed by Tracy St. John and the pattern can be found in the Winter 2007 Interweave Crochet magazine.
Thank you to my lovely brat gurl for modeling it for me, and thank you very much to the wonderful person in Michigan who has managed to justify my yarn stash.
I hope you love the wrap.

My newest project is to rework the pattern with crochet thread as a table runner.
So I have to run now and stress my arthritis in my hands so I can try to make something beautiful.

Wish me luck. :)

We have moved.
We now live in Tooele, UT
Bought a house, got the kids in school, and I am looking for daycare for the younger two and a job for me.
This area is beautiful.
We are completely surrounded by mountains and Salt Lake City is only 30 minutes from here.
Here are some photos of our view

birthdays

My middle son will turn 5 on the 28th.
I don't remember telling him that he could get older. His dad must have given him that permission.

Anyway, this kid has decided that he needs everything he sees on the TV.
His big brother got the HavocHelis for Christmas and now he has decided that he needs a yellow one for his birthday.
He also regularly tells me that he needs a PSP and a Wii. He needs a DS, and more Moon Sand.
He has even told me that he needs more ink and paper for my printer so he can print more pictures that he creates on my computer.

It's actually kind of cute to hear him get so excited over so many things. Its also nice to know that he wont take it too hard if he doesn't get everything he needs for his birthday. he didn't get everything he needed for Christmas but he was perfectly happy with all of the things he did get.


Oh dang another commercial, now he needs Mighty Putty...

crochet

Here are some of my latest crochet projects modeled by my lovely daughter Abby and her friend Marissa.

This on is the Farpoint Topper from Doris Chan's book Amazing Crochet Lace.









This one is again from Doris Chan, her Chrysanthemum Tea shawl.





This shrug is from Jennifer Orr in the fall 2007 Interweave Crochet.

2008

Happy New Year !

Update

The year is almost done, and man has it been a busy one!
So here a few updates:

• I am no longer working at Pete's. I left October fourth because hubby got a new job and we will be moving to the Salt lake area.
• Hubby got a new job! He is now a security representative for L3 Communications in Salt Lake City.
• We are in the process of selling our house here in Jackpot for our eventual move to SLC.
• My little brother and his wife have decided to give counseling a try. YAY! Her family is apparently completely opposed to it but I could care less what they think. As long as the two of them are alright and my niece and nephew are fine then I am happy.
• I just renewed my membership in the CGOA and I will soon be posting all sorts of pictures of my latest forays into crocheting. I have also registered with Crochetme.com that is an awesome site!
  

Family Sucks

the life right out of you

Don't get me wrong, I love my family, I love them 1600 miles away.

My little brother is going through a divorce.
and it is ugly
They have 2 kids. A 3 year old boy and a 6 month old girl. beautiful children that I have not yet had the joy of meeting
they are going to ruin these children
they are constantly fighting and calling each other names.
she recently sent him a text that said he is useless to the children and he should give up trying for custody and just be the every-other-week-end-dad that he had in his life
i dont know what he said in return but I am sure it was not polite
i fear for these beautiful children
they are going to grow up thinking that they are bad because thier mom and dad are constantly slamming each other

it will not be pretty

been a while

Well now, my last post was almost a year ago.....

A lot has happened since then.

We are no longer in PA, we are now living in Jackpot, NV my hubbys home town.

Speaking of hubby, he is no longer in the Army.

We bought a house and I have a job.

We also have another child, he was born in February.

Where were you?

5 years ago today we were at Fort Stewart, GA.
We lived and worked on post. My husband was with the 26th Forward Support Battalion, I worked at the One Hour Photo at the PX.
Got up that morning and got ready for work, got the kids up and fed them and got them ready for the day.
I walked Abby to school, and took Mike to Mary, our temporary sitter. Danielle was on vacation in California. Then I went to work.
Elizabeth, my friend and co-worker, and I got all the equipment set up the sat in the back office to shoot the breeze. Elizabeth was sitting on a stool, I was sitting at the desk with my feet up when th ephone rang.
It was Mary. She had just seen on the news that the first tower had been hit. She said she had to call her mom, and asked if she should send Mikey to pre-k. I said yes.
Elizabeth and I went into the PX and watched it all happen on the TV.
She and I both wanted to call our husbands, but we knew that all the lines would be busy. After a while I sent Elizabeth home, she was worried about her son who was in daycare off post.
Finally my husband called me and asked me to call his dad.
I had to go home to get my address book and when I walked into the house I turned on the TV just in time to see someone jumping from the Tower. I turned it off crying, got my address book and went back to work.
I called my hubbys dad and told him that everything where we were was OK and that we would call him as soon as we knew anything. Then I called my mom.
Mom was worried and said that she felt the kids and I would be safer if we were there with her. I pointed out the fact that they had hit civilian targets, not military, and we were probably safer than she was.
When I went to pick up Abby from school she was crying. The teacher said she did not know what was wrong, but that they did not tell the kids what had happened, I think that she just knew something bad had happened that day.
I closed the shop that day at 4:30. We had made only $14.01. I had sold two passport photos that were going to be used for college reunion pictures.
We tried not to watch the news, so as to not scare the kids, but it was everywhere. I had to tell the kids that bad men stole our planes and crashed them into buildings because they wanted to hurt America. They didn't understand.
We had armed soldiers in full battle gear at the schools and the PX the next day.
Again Mary asked if she should send Mikey to school, and I told her yes. It's just another day.
She was to frightened to send her daughter to school, so she kept her home.
I refused to show my fear. Especially in front of my kids.

Last night I watched the brain dead TV on Fox and taped the 9/11 documentary done by the french brothers. My kids and I watched it this morning.
They are 10 and 9 this year.
And though it hurt to watch it and to expose my kids to such evil, they need to know what today is all about.
They need to know why we are at war, and the lengths others will go to to hurt America.
They also need to know that though they migh be afraid they still need to be strong. To go on with their day as if nothing could happen to us. Because we do live in the greatest nation on Earth. Yep we have problems and difficulties, but people still see America as a place where you can dream. A place where, if you are willing to work, you can accomplish anything.

What I know

My hometown paper, http://www.journaltimes.com, has a blog called "mommy talk".
There is always some nifty little topic of conversation, that usually turns into a free-for-all of I'm a better mom than you. And I have come to the conclusion that I might just have all my ducks in a row when it comes to this parenting thing.
So here is the stuff I know:

• I know that saying NO to my kids will not cause them to have low self esteem. I was told NO as a kid and I still know that I am a goddess.
• I know that kids need boundaries and rules, and that what works for my daughter may not necessarily work for my sons.
• I know that being a mom isn't easy, but if you just go with flow and pay attention to whats going on around you, you will make it through just fine.
• I know that my kids are smart and well behaved when I am around.
• I know that my kids act just as goofy, foolish, or nasty as the kids they are hanging out with when I am not around.
• I know that my kids not having the same name brand clothing as their class mates does not mean that I don't love them as much as Janies mom loves her.
• I know that chores and responsibilities are a good thing.
• I know that a runny nose does not mean that my kids is dying from some disease that will wipe out his whole class if I send him to school.
• I know that my kids do not brush their teath like they should.
• I know my daughter feels akward because she is not boy crazy like some of her friends.
• I know my oldest son will be a heartbreaker when he gets older.
• I know that I have a better chance of getting the tree in my front yard to obey then of convincing my three year old to not run in the house.
• I know that my older son is more likely to tell me whats bothering him if I am not looking at him when he talks.
• Finally, I know that the list of things I do NOT know is much longer than this one, but I know that I will figure it out as we go along.

dang

Man, I just finished another blanket.
But my big dumb butt forgot to take a picture of it.
Its so cute. I made it for my father-in-laws birthday on the 18th.
Dad-in-law is a model train enthusiast, so the blanket has a steam engin crocheted on a field of blue. Its meant as a kids blanket, but, ya know, its cute.
I did it from a pattern in my 100 Afghans to Knit and Crochet book by Jean Leinhauser & Rita Weiss. Love this book.

Speaking of books. I just finished reading Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire.
Its the sequel to Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West.
The book was ok, I liked Wicked better.

Woah DUDE!

A few months ago my friend Sonya was looking for crochet patterns on the web and she came across a blog she said I had to check out.
It was The Crochet Dude.
I checked it out and immediately decided that he was going on my favorites list. I look it up about every other day. He has some of THE coolest patterns, and he's so freakin' funny y'all.

My mom taught me how to crochet when I was 10, so I have been crocheting for about 20 years now (you can do the math as to how young I am). My husband calls it tying knots in string with sticks. There were a couple of years there where I did not do much because I was in the Army and stuff. But in all the years I have know how to crochet I have not got even a quarter of the skill that the Dude has. He designs his own stuff, I do most from patterns.

So it was the Dude who inspired me to do more. To learn new things. I'm dying to felt something, anything. I can't wait to get my hands on a hairpin lace loom. I even taught myself how to knit (my first attept at knitting ended up with me so frustrated I threw the knitting needles across the room, my mother then promptly confiscated them for fear that my first foray into knitting would end tragically with a manslaughter conviction). No frustration this time though! I took it slow and figured it out, at least the knit and purl stitch. I have ordered The Knitters Bible, and I can't wait for it to get here.

Anyway, today I posted pictures of some of the projects I finished this past year.
And guess what...guess who commented on my photos?!
None other than the Dude himself. He said my stuff looked fantastic.
WOOHOO!!!! I immediately got on the phone and called Sonya. I was all sorts of happy and giggely. She laughed at me but said she understood my excitement (thank God for crazy friends!).

And now I must go and work on another project. I'm knitting a simple poncho. I don't like fringe though so I think I will do a reverse single crochet around both the bottom edge and the neckline...

Looky what I did

Did I tell you I was crafty?
Not crafty as in sneaky (well not all of the time) but as in crochet, and knitting, and cross stitch.
Here are some of my latest projects:

















Thank you to my lovely neighbor Kaci for modeling the poncho, Titania's Capelet.